I'll Be Waiting
by alexkj
Summary: A journey through the ups and downs of their relationship, as well as, a look inside the love letters between Red and Kitty during the Korean War.
1. Leaving & Lonely

**_Author's Note:_**

 _Hi there!_

 _Today I am excited to post my first multi-chapter fanfic. :) This is a RK flashback piece that takes place between 1950-1954 when Red leaves for Korea to when he returns and they get married in 1954. These dates are pure speculation based on small details given throughout the series. This story may not be everyone's cup of tea considering it is pre-series and strictly RK; however, I still encourage you to give it a chance. It is no secret that RK are my favorite characters from the show. I adore their relationship, and especially loved the few flashbacks the writers gave us throughout the series. I have always wondered about RK's relationship while Red was at war and since there are not very many fics out there based on this time I decided to write one myself. :)_

 _As always I own nothing to do with That 70's Show...this is just for fun. :)_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

August 1950

To any outsider, the young couple seemed to be on a typical date. Red picked Kitty up from her house earlier that evening. They grabbed a quick bite to eat, and then Red drove them to their favorite parking spot out by the edge of town. Normally, the couple would spend more time in town hanging out with their friends, but tonight was different. Red didn't want to share her with a crowd. It was their last night together and he was eager to get her alone.

A week ago, Red had broken the news to Kitty that he was leaving for Korea. The couple knew it was bound to happen, but they were hoping to have more time together. Kitty felt that Red had been acting slightly off since informing her of his inevitable departure. He was always a quiet one; however, his behavior the past few days had caused her some anxiety. Red kept his feelings hidden, and that made him difficult to read. On several occasions, she had tried to start a conversation about him leaving, but each time he was quick to change the topic.

Currently, the couple was snuggled together on the hood of his car. Red had not spoken much since leaving the diner. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts. Kitty had so much she wanted to say, but she didn't want to pressure him. She decided to be patient and wait for him to take the lead. In the meantime, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the closeness. She knew it would be months… possibly years before he would be able to hold her like this again. She felt herself getting teary eyed at the thought, so she pushed those feelings aside and tried to live in the moment.

Kitty heard a soft voice interrupting her thoughts. "Kitty, we need to talk."

She instantly felt her stomach drop. Kitty had spent the past week worrying that Red might break up with her. He needed to focus on the war so maybe he didn't want the distraction of a relationship. Maybe there was a reason why he had been acting different. He was trying to find the courage to break it off.

She looks up at him and smiles, even though her heart is breaking. "Red, I know what you are about to say… It's okay."

He gives her a look of confusion. There is a slight feeling of hope in her heart. Maybe she was wrong.

"It's okay? Kitty, please just listen to me. This is serious." He sits up while grabbing her hand to bring her upright with him.

Kitty looks down at their interlocked hands as she speaks. "I understand Red." Her voice cracks and, as much as she tries to hide it, there are tears in her eyes. She can't find the strength to make eye contact with him.

He squeezes her hand before he speaks.

"No, I don't think you do, sweetheart."

He pauses for a second, his confidence fading.

She is not used to this Red. He is usually so confident…so sure of himself.

Kitty is sure he is looking for the perfect words to let her down easy. She is continuing to look at their hands when suddenly he lets go and she feels gentle fingertips lifting her chin.

When their eyes meet, Red finds his voice. "I love you, Kitty."

Her eyes widen and she feels a wave of relief wash over her.

He notices her wide eyes and he worries that he's made a mistake…maybe she doesn't feel the same. He starts to ramble… "These past ten months have been the best of my life. We have had so much fun together. I just couldn't leave without telling you how much I care about you. You don't have to say anything back…"

She cuts him off before he even finishes his sentence. She is kissing him passionately, and she feels his arms wrap around her small frame. As much as she wants to continue the kiss, she has to pull away so she can say it back. As their lips part, she leans her forehead against his.

"I love you too."

He lets out a gruff sigh and smiles at her. She can tell he is relieved. How could he possibly think her reaction would be any different? She kisses him again for reassurance. When they finally pull apart, she snuggles into his side. They sit there in a comfortable silence, relieved to have their feelings out in the open. Of course, it had always been obvious that the couple cared for each other, but they had both been hesitant and nervous to break out the L word.

Eventually, Red is the one to break the silence. He has so much weighing on his mind. So much he wants to say to her. His fingertips are lightly grazing up and down her arm as he speaks.

"Kitty, I know this is selfish of me…I have no right to ask…"

He struggles with his words because he knows it is not fair to her. Kitty is so young and has her whole life ahead of her. He is aware that he is being selfish, but he just cannot help it. She is his girl. It breaks his heart to think about her ever being with someone else.

For the first time tonight she understands what he is trying to say. She interrupts him with a quick kiss and looks deep into his eyes.

"I'll wait."

Kitty has known that Red was the one for some time now. He was different than all of her past boyfriends. He was quiet and didn't express his emotions often. However, that made the times that he did even more special. Red was genuine. She would wait for him forever if she had to.

He interrupts her thoughts. "Kitty, it's going to be really hard. There is so much interest in you. If I'm not here to…" His insecurities are showing. He fears that another man will sweep her off her feet while he is gone, and he will not be around to stop it.

She gives his waist a gentle squeeze as she repeats herself. "I'll wait for you, Red."

Her words settle his insecurities. As much as he struggles to say the words at times, deep down, he knows that he will never love anyone as much as her…she is it for him. She has just promised to wait for him and that means more to him than anything. Now that everything is out in the open, he finds it a bit easier to tell her what he is feeling. She looks up at him with her beautiful blue eyes and it makes him not want to hold back anymore.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Kitty."

"I'm going to miss you, too." She chokes back a sob, and tears threaten to fall.

They smile at each other again as he tries to memorize every line and feature of her face for when he's gone. The image of her will keep him strong and motivate him to make it home alive. He can picture their future together so clearly; however, he cannot get passed the unfairness of the situation. As much as he doesn't want to think about it, there is always the possibility that he won't make it home. He doesn't want her to go through that heart ache. As much as it hurts, he gives her one more opportunity to bail.

Red's voice shakes slightly. "I want to make you so many promises, but I just can't without knowing what's going to happen…"

This past week, he had mulled over the thought of proposing to her. He wanted to promise that she would be his when he returned home…that they would get married and have a family together. In the end, he decided it would be best to wait until he returned. He didn't want the proposal to seem like an act of desperation.

"I don't want to talk like that, Red. Not when you're leaving tomorrow... "She pauses and takes a moment to understand what he is trying to do. "…you can't scare me away. I want to be with you Red…more than anything. I will wait however long it takes."

He can't help but smile at her words. "I want you to be the first person I see when I get home."

"I'll be there." She asks the next question with worry. "Will you have time to write?"

"Yes, but probably not right away." A small frown appears on Kitty's face. "Sometimes it takes a while to get where we are going." He spoke from personal experience. "…but as soon as I can, the first letter I write will be to you."

Her smile returns and he leans down to give her lingering kiss on her temple. The feeling of his lips on her feels so right that a thought pops into her head.

"Red, honey..." She hesitates for a moment, before looking up at him with flirty eyes. "I think I left something in the backseat." She jumps off the hood of the car and out of his embrace. "I think you should help me find it."

He chuckles slightly and smirks at her before grabbing her hand and jumping off the hood of the car as well. He knew exactly what she was getting at.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The couple had lost track of how long they had been in the backseat of Red's car. All of the kissing and exploring caused them to get lost in each other and made them forget that their time together was limited. As of late, this was one of their favorite pastimes and neither could imagine spending their last night together any other way, especially after speaking those three little words to each other earlier.

In the beginning of their relationship, Red would hold her hand politely on their date and give her a quick kiss goodnight when he took her home. He was so much of a gentleman that it took a lot of convincing on Kitty's part for him to step it up a notch. They had been dating almost five months before they ventured into the backseat. Of course, they had been in this situation plenty of times recently, but Red was always sure to put a stop to things before they took it to the next level. Kitty had hoped that tonight would be different. It was their last night together and she wanted it to be special. She had always thought she would wait until she was married, but something about tonight felt right to her.

They continue kissing and Red felt Kitty move to straddle his lap. He always let her take the lead for fear of pushing things too far. He was surprised by her movement and even more surprised when she reached for his belt buckle. As much as he wanted to follow her lead, he couldn't help but remember that she said she wanted to wait.

Red quickly removed her hands and moved his mouth from her lips to her neck.

His voice was playful as he spoke and placed small kisses down her neck "Kitty…what are you doing?"

She giggled at him and let out a small moan as he kissed that spot on her neck that drove her crazy.

She reached for his belt again and this time began to unbuckle it. She almost succeeded in her quest until suddenly Red pulled back. She was getting him excited, and he was quickly approaching the point of no return. He looked deep into her eyes as they both tried to catch their breath.

"What's wrong? Why are we stopping?" She was almost frustrated.

"Kitty, you were about to take it past the stopping point there." He paused for a moment before continuing. "I thought you wanted to wait until we were married."

She smiled at him. In the past he had always said 'you.' Tonight was the first night he said 'we.' He was thinking of marrying her in the future and it made her want him even more.

"That was before tonight. It feels right don't you think, honey?" She leaned in and began kissing him again. She wasn't going to make this easy.

Of course it felt right. He wanted her more than anything, but he also knew how special it would be if they did wait until their wedding night. The thought of her being only his had an appeal that he couldn't deny. He also knew that if they did it tonight, only to be torn from each other tomorrow would be devastating for the both of them. He worried that she might regret her decision tomorrow, and he cared more about her feelings than his current needs. It was incredibly difficult, but he decided to put a stop to it. He chose his words carefully. He didn't want to upset her.

Red pulled away again "Sweetheart, I don't want you to regret tonight."

Kitty rolled her eyes at him and let out a small chuckle. "Red, it's our last night together for God knows how long. Can you please just stop thinking? Let's just live in the moment, honey."

She leaned in again, but this time Red's hand gently pushed her off of him. He sat up in the back seat of the car and put his feet on the floorboard. Kitty sat back against the door as far away from him as she could get. He had never pushed her off of him before. Red rubbed his face with his hand as they set in silence for a moment. Kitty couldn't hide the hurt expression on her face as she waited for him to speak.

"Kitty, you know I want you more than anything..."

She gave him a confused look. "Then what's the problem?"

"Deep down, you want to wait, Kitty. I respect you, and I can't bear the thought of taking advantage of you just because it's an emotional night."

Kitty's eyes started to water. She knew he was right. She nodded her head as she reached out for him and snuggled in to his chest. Kitty had tried to be tough for him because she didn't want him worrying about her. She wanted him to put all of his focus into staying alive so they could be together again. However, his sweetness brought all of her emotions to the surface. She could no longer stop the flow of tears as they began to run down her face.

Kitty's voice cracked as she spoke of what she feared most. "What if this is our only chance, Red?"

For the past week, she had experienced a reoccurring nightmare about him dying. She tried to push the negative thoughts into the back of her mind, but she couldn't help it. She tightened her grip on him as he tried to comfort her. She didn't want this night to end. She never wanted to let him go.

"That's why we should wait, Kitty." She looked up him as he softly grabbed her face and wiped her tears away. He knew she didn't want to talk about it, but they need to get it out in the open so they could both be at peace. "I don't want to take something so special away from you…especially if I don't make it home."

"Red…"

"If something happens to me, Kitty, you have to promise me that you will move on and be happy. I want you to be happy if…"

"Stop, Red…"

His voice cracked slightly, but he somehow found the strength to keep his emotions intact. "Promise me."

She reluctantly shook her head. She didn't want to imagine her life without him, but if this is what he needed to hear she wouldn't argue with him.

"Good." He leaned to brush his lips with hers then pulled her to him.

Red laid her head on his chest and softly ran his fingers through her hair. They snuggled together in silence for a while. They were both trying to hang on to what little time they had left together. Red would have to get her home soon. He had a big day tomorrow and she needed to be home by her curfew.

Kitty was the first to break the silence. "Oh, honey, I almost forgot." She let go of him and wiped her eyes. She reached up into the front seat of the car to grab her purse. She reached into the main pocket and pulled out a small thin present that was carefully wrapped. "Here." Kitty handed him they present as he gave her a smirk.

"Kitty…you shouldn't have spent your money on me."

"I didn't, really. Open it."

He carefully unwrapped the gift and gave her a grin when he saw what was inside.

"You look beautiful, sweetheart." Inside the package was a picture of Kitty. She looked absolutely stunning in that fur coat. As he took a closer look, he noticed that something about the picture was off.

"Kitty…are you…are you not wearing any clothes under that coat?"

She gave him a flirty giggle and responded. "Maybe…Maybe not…"

"Kitty, who took this?" He was now a little concerned about who was looking at his girlfriend half nude.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. It was Paula." She couldn't control her giggle. "It was her idea actually, too…for me to just be wearing the coat that is." She paused for a moment. He hadn't said anything since discovering she was half naked in the picture and now she feared that there was something wrong.

"You like it…don't you?"

"Oh, I love it Kitty. You look gorgeous. I was just worried about who had seen it that's all." He didn't have a picture of her so he was excited to have one to take with him now.

"I'm glad…just don't let any of your buddies see it okay? This picture's for your eyes only."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. If any of them saw this they would try to steal you away from me, and I would never let that happen." Red chuckled before giving her a small smile and reaching out for her face. "You surprise me all the time, you know that?"

Kitty crinkled her nose at him and leaned in for another kiss. They snuggled together and tried to enjoy their remaining moments together without worry or fear.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Red pulled up into the Sigurdson's driveway and killed the engine. He opened his car door and walked around to the passenger's side to open the door for Kitty. The couple held hands as they approached the steps to the front porch. Kitty turned to face Red and gently reached for this other hand as well. She looked down as the tears started welling up in her eyes again. This was the moment they had both been dreading.

There was a slight tug in Red's chest. He hated to see her cry. "Everything is going to be okay, Kitty." He tried to reassure her. Truthfully, he was trying to reassure himself too.

She nodded as she looked up at him; however, she was still unable to control the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Red let go of one hand and gently cupped her face while using his thumb to wipe way the tears on her cheek.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

Kitty let out a cross between a chuckle and a sob as she looked down at the ground. Red waited patiently until she looked back up at him again before continuing.

"When you feel lonely…" Red paused and cleared his throat. "…don't ever forget how much I love you…more than anything."

Red dropped his hand as Kitty leaned in to give him a teary kiss followed by the tightest embrace she had ever given him.

"I love you too, Red."

As much as she didn't want to, she let go and gave him another quick kiss before turning from him and running up the stairs of the porch. When she reached the screen door she looked back at him. Red gave her a smile as they took in their last sight of each other. Kitty returned his smile with a teary one of her own. It took all of her will power to open the door and disappear inside the house.

Red turned to walk back towards the car. He sat down in the driver's seat and turned the ignition. He felt sick as he laid his forehead against the steering wheel. He wasn't even out of the drive way yet and he was already homesick for her.

There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight.

 _To be continued…_


	2. The Distance Between You & Me

Summer was coming to an end and there was beginning to be a slight chill in the September night air. Kitty Sigurdson was sitting alone in the front porch swing. She had a cup of tea in her hands and a blanket wrapped around her legs. The young woman had been a mess of emotions as of late and she was trying to force herself to relax. As much as she tried she couldn't keep her mind off a particular soldier. She had yet to receive a letter from him and found herself in a constant state of worry.

Her change in behavior had not gone unnoticed by her parents and sister. Kitty was typically a bubbly and social person. Lately, however, she seemed to withdraw into herself and didn't have much to say…which was so unlike Kitty.

Burt Sigurdson couldn't help but be concerned about his daughter. Bea had chalked it up to a teenage phase and didn't seem too worried. Paula had tried talking to her sister, but the conversation never seemed to get anywhere. Eventually, Burt decided that it was up to him to find out what was going on with his oldest girl.

Burt took a moment to gaze at his daughter through the screen door. His Kitty was always smiley and happy. It was one of the things he loved most about her. She was the bright spot in any bad day. He almost didn't recognize the girl in the porch swing…she looked so sad.

He softly pushed the screen door open as he spoke to her. "Hi, Pumpkin."

Kitty turned her head towards the sound of her father's voice. She gave him a small smile. "Hi, Daddy."

Burt walked closer to the porch swing and gently grabbed ahold of the chain with his left hand. "Do you mind if I sit with you? It is such a nice evening."

She scooted over to give him room to sit down before commenting on the weather as well. "It's starting to get chillier." She lifted the blanket to give him the opportunity to join her. He shook his head once to indicate that he was fine.

Father and daughter sat in silence while slowly swinging back and forth. Burt was hoping that his presence would encourage her to talk. That maybe she would just let out whatever was bothering her. She stayed quiet so Burt decided to proceed with caution. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her more.

"Have you been feeling okay, sweetie? Lately, you haven't really seemed like yourself."

Kitty let out a small sigh. She had tried to act as normal as possible, but apparently had not been doing the best job. She tried to reassure him. "I'm okay, Daddy."

"I don't think you are."

Kitty's shoulder's dropped and she rolled her eyes slightly out of frustration. He wasn't going to let this go. "I really am fine. You don't need to worry about me, Daddy."

Burt nodded his head. "Okay…just know that if you ever want to talk…if something is bothering you…I'm here."

Kitty gave him a small grin, but still didn't say anything. Burt decided to try a different approach. Instead of getting up and giving her space, he continued to sit beside her. Maybe if he sat there long enough she would finally spill it.

He was right because after about five minutes of silence she let out a sigh and began to talk.

"I still haven't received a letter from Red."

There it was.

"It's been almost a month, Daddy."

"Pumpkin, these things take time. I'm sure he will write you as soon as he can."

Burt and Red had engaged in a few conversations during the time that the young man had been dating his daughter. From the beginning, Red was genuine. He didn't say much, but when he did speak it was meaningful. Burt never felt that he was trying to charm him or feed him a line of crap. Red never tried to be something he wasn't…he was just himself. Burt liked this about Red, and the fact that he was such a gentleman towards his daughter. A father couldn't ask for more.

"I know. He said it might take some time too…I just didn't think it would be this long. I'm worried."

"Kitty…you can't worry yourself sick. You have to continue living your life. He wouldn't want you sad all the time." Kitty quickly turned her head towards her father and gave him a look of frustration. He didn't understand.

"This is why I didn't want to talk about this, Daddy." Her blue eyes started to water. "He told me the exact same thing. I just….I can't help how I feel."

His heart broke for his daughter. She started to sniffle so he reached into his back pocket for his handkerchief and handed it over to her.

As she took the handkerchief from his hand and softly dabbed at the corner of her eyes as she spoke. "I miss him."

"I'm sure he misses you too, sweetie."

Burt had noticed that his daughter had been spending most of her free time with Red the past few months. The couple seemed to be getting quite attached to each other. However, Burt was somewhat surprised that they chose to stay in their relationship when Red found out he was leaving for Korea. Long distance relationships could be rocky at times, and he hated that his daughter had chosen such a tough road. As much as he liked Red, he felt that Kitty deserved more than what he could give her. She was so young, and had her whole life ahead of her.

Kitty leaned in to her father and laid her head on his shoulder. By just talking about it with someone she already felt better. They continue to sway in the porch swing while Kitty silently prayed she would get a letter soon.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The first day of October was fast approaching, and Kitty was off to make her daily run to the mailbox. As of late, she was the one who brought in the mail. While walking back to the house she quickly thumbed through the stack of envelopes. She almost dropped the whole stack when she spotted a letter and instantly recognized the handwriting.

It was a letter from Red.

Kitty quickly ran back to the house and sat on the front porch. Her hands were shaking with excitement as she quickly tore open the letter. She unfolded the sheet of paper and quickly began reading the manly script.

 _September 21, 1950_

 _Dear Kitty,_

 _I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get this letter to you. The last night we spent together feels like an eternity ago. Since leaving Wisconsin, my life has been endless hours of training and preparation. We are boarding the carrier in one week to head overseas. I plan to write to you every day while I can. I hope you don't mind. Make sure you date each letter that you write. Sometimes the mail gets held up and we receive multiple letters at a time. The dates will help me read them in order. I will be dating mine as well._

 _My time is occupied during the day so I don't have much time to think; however, when I lay down at night my thoughts are consumed of you. Not a night goes by that I don't think about what you're doing or how your day was. I trust that you are living your life to the fullest every day and not sitting around sulking over our situation. Kitty…you promised._

 _I miss you._

 _Love,_

 _Red_

 _P.S. I'm sure you ripped the envelope apart when opening the letter. Please don't throw it away. It has my current address on it._

As Kitty finished reading the letter, she felt a wave of relief wash over her. Red was safe, and he was planning to write every day. That alone was enough to make her heart flutter happily, and it gave her so much to look forward to.

Kitty found herself reading the letter over and over again. Red was right. She had been a sulking mess since he had been gone and that needed to change. She was now determined to find something that she was interested in to occupy her time…something that would make him proud of her. Kitty found herself getting towards the end of the letter again, and was unable to contain her giggle at his last few sentences. He knew her so well.

She quickly gathered up the rest of the mail and walked into the house. She sat the mail down on the counter while keeping her letter from Red in her hands. Her plan was to keep all of the letters Red sent her in a box so she could read through them if she found herself missing him more than usual. Once entering her bedroom, she grabbed her stationary and a pen and began to eagerly compose a reply.

As she finished, Kitty folded the letter neatly and placed it inside an envelope. She addressed the letter to Red and was sure to use the address that he told her to use. She would need to make a trip to the post office to invest in a roll of stamps. She would for sure need them.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

As Red Forman boarded the boat that was bound for Korea he unexpectantly encountered a lieutenant standing with an arm full of mail. Red found himself standing in a large group of sailors surrounding the lieutenant. Each man was eagerly anticipating communication from home.

Red was one of the many men that had not received anything from home yet. Yesterday, he went to mail call only to come back empty handed again. He wasn't too surprised by it, considering he had just sent his first letters out over a week ago, still it was hard to watch his buddies get mail when he had yet to receive anything. Red worried that it was his last chance to receive anything before the two week journey to Korea. As much as he tried to deny it, he couldn't help the slightly heartbroken feeling that he was currently experiencing. However, the sight of the man with the mail made him slightly hopeful.

The man was getting to the end of his stack and Red was just about to give up when he heard his name.

"…Forman, Ewers, Herrington, Brown…"

Red quickly stepped forward to retrieve his letters. It was difficult to contain his excitement especially when he saw that he had two letters instead of just one. Red recognized the handwriting on one letter as his mothers and the other was unmistakably Kitty's.

Red walked through the halls of the ship until he found the room he would be staying in the next two weeks. He found his bunk and then placed the few items he had with him in the appropriate location. His next challenge would be to find a place to read without being bothered. Luckily, many other sailors had just received letters as well so Red settled in next to a group of men with their eyes glued to the letter in their hands. They didn't even notice him sit down much to Red's relief.

Red couldn't help but reach for his girlfriend's letter first. He pulled out his pocket knife and carefully cut the edge of the letter to avoid ripping the stationary and envelope. As he opened the letter, he forced himself to read slow as to not miss anything. He wanted this feeling to last as long as possible.

 _September 26, 1950_

 _Dear Red,_

 _I was so relieved and happy to receive your letter today. You were right…I did rip the envelope apart. Don't worry though, I wrote down the address for future letters._

 _You know me so well, Red. I have been sulking and struggling to find something to occupy my time. Poor Daddy has been worried about me. Maybe I should consider more schooling. I don't know what I would do, though. Maybe I could be a teacher or a nurse or something like that. What do you think, honey?_

 _I've been thinking about you constantly, Red. I miss you so much. Our last night together seems like an eternity ago to me as well. I can't wait for the day that I get to be with you again._

 _Please write as much as you can even if the letter is short. Just hearing from you makes the distance hurt less._

 _Love,_

 _Kitty_

Red could not help the grin that creeped across his face as he read that she missed him. He was slightly embarrassed by his reaction until he looked up to notice that many of the faces around him had the same look. There was nothing better than getting a letter from your girl.

After reading the letter for a second time, Red found himself chuckling at the fact that she did indeed rip the envelope apart. The way she can't control her excitement is one of her adorable qualities that he cannot get enough of.

Red felt a sense of pride in the fact that she was considering continuing her education. The way she cares for others and her sweet disposition would make her great teacher or nurse. He would never admit it out loud, but he secretly hoped she would choose teaching. If she was a nurse she would be around handsome doctors all the time. In the back of his mind, Red feared one of them would sweep her off her feet. Then where would that leave him? There was a slight ache in his chest at the thought of what could happen. Whatever path she chose, he would support her. All he wanted was for her to be happy.

Red folded Kitty's letter and put it back in the envelope. He was hoping to try to keep this one because it was the first that she sent. It was sometimes difficult to hang on to letters from home because of lack of space for your personal items, but he was determined to try. They still had some time before they had to report on deck so he stood up and began walking back to his bunk to grab his paper and a pen.

The letter from his mother would wait until later.

 _To be continued…_


	3. The Moment I Knew

_September 29, 1950_

 _Hi Sweetheart,_

 _I got some mail today and since then I've had the biggest smile on my face. One of the letters was from Ma and the other was from my favorite girl. Hearing from you today was just what I needed. Day to day life has slowed down considerably since my last letter, and it is causing me to be a little homesick. The only good thing about right now is that I have more time to write to you._

 _I think school is a great idea, Kitty. I don't want to say too much about what you should do because I want it to be your decision. I support you no matter what, sweetheart. Keep in mind that when I get home and after we get married I plan to take care of you. You won't have to work if you don't want to._

 _Well, I guess I'm going to close for now considering there isn't much happening over here to fill you in on. Feel free to fill me in on everything going on with you in your next letter…the longer the better. I miss you and love you so much. Please don't ever forget that._

 _Love,_

 _Red_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

 _October 4, 1950_

 _Hi Honey,_

 _You just made my day with your last letter. I hate that you are homesick. I understand how you are feeling though. I miss you so much some days I feel like I'm going crazy. Your letters help more than anything._

 _But enough about that... I have so many questions. Have you seen land in a while? It's so hard for me to imagine. Just to be surrounded by nothing but water. You know, I have never seen the ocean before. Although, they say Lake Michigan is like the ocean. I still would like to see the real thing. Maybe one day we can see it together._

 _Have you made any new friends, honey? Hopefully your boredom has encouraged you to socialize. I know you love your alone time, but hopefully you are using some of your free time to get to know some of the other men around you._

 _You say you are not very busy right now. Do you have anything for entertainment? I can send you a deck of cards if you'd like._

 _I still have not decided about school. I need to make a decision soon though. My mother told me that she expects for me to make a decision by December and start school in January. I guess she is tired of watching me sit around the house. It's sweet of you to talk about life after we are married. We'll just see how things go I guess. Who knows…we might get used to the extra income._

 _I ran into Marty in town the other day. He is doing just fine. You two definitely look like brothers, but are complete opposites in personality. He was talking about different colleges and such. If you get time you should write him. I'm sure he would love to hear from you._

 _Alright, sweetheart, I guess I will close for now. I love you, Red._

 _Yours Forever,_

 _Kitty_

 _0o0o0o0o0o0o0o_

 _October 8, 1950_

 _Dear Kitty,_

 _I want to start by apologizing about the poor penmanship. We ran into some rough waters last night and the boat is rocking back and forth. I swear over half the men are fighting off sea sickness. You can definitely tell which men are taking their maiden voyage. I guess I built up a tolerance during the last war. You can't even imagine the smell right now. It's so bad in fact that I have been spending most of my time today on deck just to get some fresh air. You have to hang on for dear life though. The only good thing about right now is that the chow line is short. I just have to make sure I hang on to my tray or it will slide off the table…enough about all that unpleasantness though._

 _I'm happy to answer any question you have, sweetie. I haven't seen land since the day we left California and I'll tell you what I sure do miss it. We are somewhere in the middle of the Pacific right now I'd guess. Not too far from Japan though. I should be getting off this carrier within the next couple of days. The Pacific does look somewhat similar to the lake but times that by a thousand. If you want to see the ocean I will be sure to make it happen. I'm not a huge fan of sand, but I would take you anywhere if it meant I get to see that smile of yours. I would give anything to see your smile right now._

 _War is a tough place to make friends, Kitty. Based on my last experience, the minute you get close enough to someone to call them a friend something happens. I do have some buddies though. On nice days we will check out a basketball to help pass the time. We have to be careful though. If it goes overboard you have to pay for it. They also show a movie every night so I go to those sometimes. A deck of cards would be great, sweetheart. You're always so thoughtful._

 _When it comes to your decision about school, you need to do whatever makes you happy. That's all I want. Of course, I think about what life will be like after we are married. The excitement I feel when I think about our future is helping me get through the hell that I'm in now._

 _I'm glad to hear Marty is doing well. I do wonder about him sometimes. I hope your family is doing well too._

 _Well, I guess I better close for now. It is getting harder and harder to write with the way this boat is rocking. I miss you more and more each day._

 _Love,_

 _Red_

Kitty heard a noise as she finished reading the last line of Red's letter. She quickly placed the letter back inside the envelope as her sister Paula walked into the room. It wasn't that she had anything to hide, she just hated answering all the questions her family seemed to have for her lately. She and Paula were quite close, but she had little desire to share the private letters between her and Red.

"Oh, hi Kitty."

"Hi, Paula." Kitty responded a little too quickly giving her voice a suspicious tone.

"What are you up to in here?" Paula noticed her sister was sitting alone in their parent's living room. The television set was not on and Paula didn't see a book or magazine anywhere.

"Oh, nothing."

"Is that a letter?" Paula curiously asked while looking at the item in Kitty's hands. "Is it from Red?"

Kitty gave her sister an uneasy look. "Yes, Paula. The letter is from Red."

Paula lunged toward her big sister. "I wanna see."

Kitty moved her hands and turned her body away from the eager young girl. "No. That's not for you to read."

Paula smirked. "Why not? What do you and Red have to hide? You two aren't writing dirty letters now, are you?"

"Paula! Of course not…and even if we were, it's not of your business what we write to each other."

"Okay, Okay…relax. It's not like I'm going to tell Mom or Daddy. Come on, Kitty. Just read me a little bit…" They normally shared everything. Paula was confused as to why her sister was being so secretive.

"Paula, stop. Please…"

Paula gave her sister a serious look. Kitty was starting to look genuinely upset which was quite unusual for her big sister. The banter they exchanged usually always lead to laughter between the two of them. For some reason today was different.

"Hey…" She reached out for her sister's shoulder. "Is everything okay? You know, I was just playing around."

Kitty sighed. "I know…I'm sorry. I guess I just haven't really been myself lately."

"Yeah, I've noticed. I'm guessing it has something to do with a certain sailor? Wait…he didn't break up with you did he? Is that why you are so upset?"

"No, of course not. He…I just miss him is all." Kitty paused for a moment. "I get so excited when I get a letter from him, and then when I'm through reading I remember he's thousands of miles away and I just get sad again."

"Kitty…"

Kitty's eyes started to water. "I'm sorry. I know you, Daddy, and Mom are tired of me acting this way. It's just hard, you know?"

Paula nodded her head and directed them towards the sofa in the middle of the living room. Once they sat down she spoke again. "I guess I didn't realize you two were so serious." Kitty gave Paula a questioning look. " I mean…I knew you had been seeing a lot of each other. I just thought that once he left you might…I don't know…drift apart."

Kitty smiled. "No…I definitely don't see that happening. When I met him at that USO dance I never dreamed that we would end up where we are now…"

Paula interrupted. "And where is that, exactly?

Kitty didn't respond at first. It was like she was searching for the right words; however, the look in her eyes told Paula all she needed to know.

"Oh my…you're in love with him aren't you?"

Kitty gave Paula a half smile and nodded, but there was still sadness in her eyes.

"Have you told him how you feel?"

"He's the one that said it first. He told me the night before he left."

Paula's hand flew to her chest. "Oh, Kitty…that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

"I've never felt like this before, Paula. It's the most intense feeling I have ever had. My heart has felt completely broken since he left. That's why I've been acting so strange the past few months. I don't know how to deal with all this…"

The flood gates had opened and tears where now streaming down Kitty's face. Paula's heart ached for her sister. No wonder she had been acting so strange lately. Paula felt terrible that she hadn't noticed exactly what had been going on with Kitty. Of course, until now Kitty hadn't exactly been forth coming with information.

When Kitty and Red began to go steady, Paula noticed that the couple seemed quite entranced with each other. However, Paula never really knew what to think of Red. He was quiet and gruff and seemed to be the complete opposite of Kitty. Never in a million years did she think it would work out between them…that they would get to this point.

"I don't think there is a proper way to deal with this, sweetie. I do, however, think that keep everything bottled up isn't helping much. You can talk to me anytime, you know that right?"

Kitty nodded her head through her tears and leaned in to hug her sister. "Thanks Paula."

As they pulled apart, Paula couldn't help but ask the next question. "So…when did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That you were in love with Red!" Kitty rolled her eyes. "Come on, Kitty. I'm your sister. You don't always have to be so…closed off. It's just me and you here. I need details!"

"Fine." Kitty took a second to think before continuing. "I don't know...I can't really think of a defining moment. Just the way he treats me…the way he looks me. I swear, Paula, the way he looks at me sometimes it's like…I'm the only person that matters to him."

The sisters exchanged smiles.

"Sometimes I think he struggles with knowing how to express himself. I can tell that he knows what he wants to say but he has trouble actually saying the words. He showed me though…he's always showed me through that look. The words were so worth the wait."

In that moment, Paula was so incredibly happy for her sister. She had found someone she was crazy about and felt the same way about her. It seemed so unfair that they were forced to be separated.

"He tells me in every letter, though." Paula gave Kitty a look of confusion and she continued. "He tells me that he misses me…and that he loves me." Kitty choked back a sob. "God, I'm so scared for him. I'm terrified that he won't make it home…that I'll never see him again."

"You can't think that way, Kitty. Listen, I don't know Red the way you do , but from what I can see he's extremely tough and strong…and I can almost guarantee that he will do everything it takes to make it home to you."

Kitty cracked a smile at her sister. "You always know how to make me feel better." She sighed before continuing. "I'm going to go write him back." She stood up and headed for the doorway of the living room.

"Okay. Remember if you need anything at all…I'm here."

"Thanks Paula."

 _To be continued…_


	4. More Than a Memory

**Author's note:**

Hi Everyone!

I hope you have enjoyed the last three chapter's of "I'll Be Waiting." I wanted to let you know that in this chapter we will skipping ahead a little bit to the holiday season. Enjoy!

* * *

 _November 23, 1950_

 _Hi Sweetie,_

 _I've been thinking of you a lot today. I've never been a big fan of the holidays, but I would do anything to be home spending them with you. We were just served quite the Thanksgiving feast and I'm so full I can hardly write. We were so happy to have a hot meal it was hard to stop eating. There was turkey and all the trimmings. No yams though. While we were eating I got to thinking about the yams you made last year. I know we had only known each other a few weeks at that point, but I think that's when I started falling in love with you. You make the best yams, Kitty, and I sure did miss them this year. Did your mother let you help with any other dishes this year?_

 _Everyone has been talking like we might be home by Christmas. I'm not getting my hopes up though and you shouldn't either. I have a feeling they are wrong about that. It would just be too good to be true._

 _Speaking of Christmas, is there anything in particular on your wish-list this year? I want to get my girl something special the next time I go into town. I keep thinking about last Christmas when the snow drifts were so high it made it impossible to drive or walk. We spent Christmas day apart then too. I'm hoping we don't make a habit of spending the holiday apart. Maybe next year will be our year._

 _Snow is already on the ground here and it is unbelievably cold. I'm way colder now than I ever remember being at home. Is there snow on the ground in Wisconsin, yet?_

 _God, I miss you, Kitty._

 _I was just sitting here writing and thinking then it hits me like a truck. How is it possible that we have only been apart for three months? It feels like much longer._

 _I love you, sweetheart. Happy Thanksgiving._

 _Forever Yours,_

 _Red_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

 _December 1, 1950_

 _Dear Red,_

 _I'm sorry you have had to wait so long for this letter. I know it was over a week ago that you sent your last one, but I guess the mail got held up a bit because of the holiday. I just received your letter today._

 _I'm so happy to hear that you were able to eat Thanksgiving dinner. I was thinking about you a lot that day too. Yams were enough to make you fall in love, huh? When you get home I'll make them for you anytime, honey. It doesn't even have to be Thanksgiving. I made the yams and a pecan pie this year. Of course, Mom found something wrong with both. I offered (more than once) to help her with the other dishes, but you know my mother…she loves to complain about having to cook everything, but will not accept much help. I cannot wait to cook for our own family someday. Then I won't have to deal with Bea's criticisms._

 _All the headlines were predicting that you boys would be home by Christmas. So I've had my hopes up for a while…I couldn't help it. It would have been the most wonderful Christmas gift. However, after the Chinese counterattacks (I think that's what they called it) the other day everyone seems to be changing their tune. Speaking of gifts…I can't really think of anything material that I need or want right now. All I want is you home with me._

 _We got our first snow last Sunday, actually. It wasn't much…just a dusting. Are you staying warm, honey? Do you want me to send you some gloves? Let me know if there is anything I can send you to help. I would give anything to be snuggled up next to you right now. We could keep each other warm._

 _It's been the longest three months of my life, too, sweetheart. I miss you more and more each day._

 _All my love,_

 _Kitty_

As Red finished reading Kitty's letter for the second time, he felt an object smack into the side of his face. He immediately looked up in the direction it came from.

"Hey Forman…you got that dreamy eyed look again. Makes me sick…"

Slightly embarrassed, Red sat his letter down and reached down to grab the object that was now on the floor. He picked up what appeared to be a crumbled up letter and threw it back at the young man across from him. "I don't know what you are talking about."

Charlie dodged out of the way and replied. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You get that look every time Kitty sends you a letter."

Red rolled his eyes and tried to change the subject. "Why did you crumble that letter up, anyway? Trouble in paradise?

Charlie tried to hide the solemn look on his face. "I don't know…Millie has been different in her letters the past few weeks."

Red immediately regretted his question. His intent was to get the focus off of his girl, not to be privy to Charlie and Millie's love life turmoil. Red didn't enjoy discussing personal business. His priority was to get the job done so he could get out of this hell hole.

"What should I do, Red? End it before she does?"

Red let out an exasperated breath. "Charlie…I can't tell you what to do. I don't want to be involved."

Charlie nodded his head and gazed downward. Red couldn't help but feel bad for the guy.

Annoyed with himself for continuing the conversation, Red spoke again. "Ahh…jeez. What makes you think she is even considering ending it?"

Charlie looked up again. "Her letters have been extremely short. It's like she doesn't have much to say, or she is done putting out the effort. I mean, everything was great back home when we were able to see each other all the time. Now that we're apart…it's like she's bored with me or something."

Red hated to break it to the guy, but all the signs were there. Red should know…he had been through it all before during the previous war.

"Charlie…there is nothing easy about the situation were in. If she is worth fighting for then write to her about how you are feeling. If not, end it already."

Red couldn't believe these words were actually coming out of his mouth…talking about feelings and what not. Kitty was really making him soft.

Charlie stayed quiet and continued to think about the words Red had just spoken. Red assumed the conversation was over and proceeded to retrieve a piece of paper from the trunk at the end of his bunk. He had just begun to compose a reply when he heard the voice of his neighbor again.

"Do you ever wonder about Kitty?"

Red looked up and gave Charlie a questioning look. "What are you getting at?"

"Do you ever wonder what she is really up to? The odds aren't really in favor of us guys over here. I mean, a sailor is more likely to get a 'Dear John' letter than to not get one."

With a hint of aggravation in his voice, Red replied. "Why don't you just worry about fixing your relationship with Millie and stop worrying about mine."

"Red, come on…" Red's overreaction made it clear to Charlie that if he wanted relationship advice he would need to find someone else.

"I'm going for a walk…" Red spoke in a tone that said 'don't follow me.'

Red tossed the empty sheet of paper and his pen onto his bunk and walked towards the nearest exit.

As he walked towards the top deck, Red's mind was still mulling over what Charlie had just said. Quite frankly, he was pissed that Charlie would insinuate that Kitty might be up to something inappropriate back home. Even though deep down he knew it was a possibility. She had never given him any reason not to trust her. However, he couldn't help the anxiety that he was beginning to feel thinking about Kitty being unfaithful to him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kitty and Paula walked arm in arm down the sidewalk towards the Siguardson house. The pair had decided to get an early start on their Christmas shopping this year. They were quite successful today as each girl held two bags in their free hand. They each found something for their parents and Kitty had also found a gift for Red. The pair giggled uncontrollably as they opened the front door. Paula had just finished telling a completely inappropriate joke that they were both sure their mother would not approve of.

It was as if Bea's ears were ringing because as soon as the girls closed the door and began removing their coats, their mother poked her head around the corner from the kitchen.

"You girls are making quite the ruckus. Your father is taking a nap in the living room."

"Sorry Mom." They responded in sync.

Kitty and Paula both headed for the stairs with their shopping bags in hand when Bea spoke again.

"Paula you go on up to your room. Kitty, I need to talk to you in the kitchen."

Kitty made eye contact with her sister while handing over her shopping bags. Paula gave her a small smirk that insinuated 'better you than me'.

Kitty turned back towards the direction of her mother and followed her in the kitchen.

Bea was already busying herself with dinner when Kitty walked through the arched doorway.

"Cut up these carrots, dear."

Kitty pulled open one of the bottom cabinets to retrieve the cutting board and began her mother's request. When she was half way through the first carrot she broke the silence.

"Mom, I know you didn't just call me in here to cut carrots. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Bea placed a loaf of bread into the open oven. "As a matter of fact, yes." She closed the oven door and turned towards her oldest daughter. "Have you made a decision, yet?"

"A decision about what, Mom?" Kitty knew what her mother was talking about, but chose to stall considering she had not made up her mind yet.

"About the rest of your life. You very well know what I'm talking about, Kitty!"

Kitty sighed. "Mom, you said I had until the first of the year to decide.

"No. I said you would need to start school by the first of the year if that's what you choose. You need to decide now so we have time to get you enrolled, buy books, and…"

Kitty interrupted. "Mom, I don't know what I want to do!" Her tone of voice was snappier than intended.

Through gritted teeth, Bea replied. "Watch your tone, young lady."

"I'm sorry, I just…I don't know…" She tried to hide the tears in her eyes. There was always so much pressure to please her mother.

"What is wrong with you, Kitty? You have always been so focused and ambitious. You were the daughter I never had to worry about. Now, you don't know what you want? Does this have anything to do with that boy you have been writing?"

"Mom…"

"Soldiers cannot be depended on dear. I'm sure this Rhett is a perfectly nice boy..." Bea said somewhat sarcastically.

Kitty rolled her eyes. "His name is Red, Mother."

"That's what I said. You need to focus on your future and not some wartime romance."

"I'm in love with him, Mom." Kitty paused for a moment and watched her mother's reaction. When her expression didn't change, she continued. "I want to marry him. That's all I want."

Kitty had always been nervous about her parent's reaction to this. Especially since Red was so much older than her. However, now that it was out in the open she felt a surprising sense of relief.

The silence seemed to drag on forever until Kitty gave her mother a half smile and shrugged her shoulders.

Bea spoke in a stern voice. "Kitty, you are making a mistake getting caught up in that boy. You are just going to end up heartbroken."

She was determined to prove her mother wrong. "Why do you keep referring to him as 'that boy'?" When her mother didn't answer, Kitty continued. "He's not just some boy that I have a crush on, mother... when he gets home we _are_ getting married."

Bea's voice softened slightly. Her daughter was so young and naïve. "That's _if_ he makes it home, Kitty."

Kitty sighed and gave her mother a look of disbelief. She was trying to be tough, but couldn't help the few tears that escaped at the thought of what Bea had said. How could her mother be so hurtful?

Bea continued. "This is reality, Kitty. You have set all your hopes and dreams on a boy…"

"Man." Kitty interrupted.

Bea chose to ignore her daughter and not correct herself. "…that may or may not make it home from a war. You need to choose a path that will allow you to be okay without him. I want to know by the time we sit down to dinner tonight."

Kitty glared at her mother for a moment. She had so much she wanted to say, but couldn't bring herself to disrespect her mother any more than she already had. Instead, she turned back toward the cutting board to finish the carrots. When she completed the task she sniffled and spoke once more to her mother. "I'll be upstairs."

She was out of the kitchen and taking the stairs two at a time before her mother could protest.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

An hour had passed since Kitty had entered her bedroom. As soon as the door was closed the water works started and she had yet to find the off switch. Her mother could be so insensitive at times.

She was lying horizontal on her bed with her head buried in her crossed arms. She knew her mother would not let up until she made a decision. She was going to have to choose something, even if she wasn't that passionate about.

Kitty heard a knock at her door and quickly sat up on her bed and wiped her eyes.

"Come in."

Paula opened the door and poked her head inside. "Hi."

"Hi, Paula."

"Are you okay?" She noticed her sister's face was red and stained with tears.

She sniffled and gave her sister a smile. "I'll be fine."

Kitty noticed Paula had a stack of mail in her hands. "I got the mail. There is a letter from Red." She picked up the letter with two fingers and handed it over to Kitty. "Hopefully it will make you feel better. And…uhh…Mom told me to tell you to wash up for dinner."

"Thanks, Paula. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Okay." Paula quietly let herself out.

As soon as Paula closed the door, Kitty turned the letter over in her hands and gently began to open it. She couldn't help but smile the minute she saw his handwriting. Her family would just have to wait to start dinner.

 _December 4, 1950_

 _Dear Kitty,_

 _You have no idea how much I would like to be snuggled up with you right now, too. I seem to be staying warm enough, but I know it's only going to get worse. I hate to ask for anything, but gloves would be great, Kitty. It wouldn't hurt to have an extra pair._

 _I was going through my things today and your photo caught my eye. I was reminded of how lucky I am. I have the prettiest girlfriend._

 _Do you remember this past summer when we took that day trip to the lake? I've been thinking about that a lot the past few days. Maybe because it's so cold here, and it was unusually hot in Wisconsin that day. Anyways…you packed a lunch for us and we spent the day together swimming, and talking, and we spent some time not talking…that part was really fun. I can remember thinking that you looked so carefree and beautiful. I was so in love with you, but I couldn't find the courage to say the words yet. I know I'm rambling, sweetheart, I just wanted you to know that I was so happy that day and I have felt this way about you for a long time now. I didn't just realize it when I found out I was getting deployed._

 _I hope thinking about us together makes your day a little brighter. I know it helps me get through these long, cold days._

 _All my love,_

 _Red_

Tears sprung to Kitty's eyes again after she finished reading the letter. He truly was the sweetest man she had ever met. She found herself giggling at all of her memories from that day. She planned to share them with him in her next letter.

Unfortunately, her reply would have to wait until later. It was time to face her family.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kitty rounded the corner into the dining room. By some miracle she made herself look presentable, even after all the crying she had been doing today. Her father, mother, and sister were already seated around the dining room table.

Bea spoke. "Thank you for gracing us with your presence…finally."

Burt gave a glance in his wife's direction silently telling her that comment was unnecessary.

"Bea…"

He turned his head back towards his daughter and smiled.

Kitty sincerely responded "I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"Not a problem, pumpkin."

Burt said the blessing before the family began passing the food around the table, scooping portions onto their plates.

"So, how was Christmas shopping today? Are the stores beginning to get crowded yet?"

Paula replied. "Yes, you can definitely tell it is Christmas. We were quite successful today, Daddy. Kitty and I found the perfect gifts for you and Mom."

"That's very thoughtful, dear." Burt smiled at his youngest.

"Kitty found a gift for Red as well."

"Oh, really?" Burt turned his gaze to his oldest daughter. "

Kitty nodded. "I bought him some wool socks and a pair of gloves. He said it's getting awfully cold over there. I was thinking about making him some Christmas cookies too…or maybe some candy. I just don't know if it would still be fresh by the time the package gets to him."

"Well, that's very thoughtful dear. I'm sure he will love it."

Even though Bea had hut her feelings earlier, Kitty wanted to break the tension with her mother.

"Mom, what do you think? Is packing baked goods a smart idea?"

Bea looked up from her dinner plate and made eye contact with her daughter. "I think we can make it work. We'll just have to make sure that they are packaged and sealed just right to keep them fresh."

Kitty was pleasantly surprised that Bea was considering helping with her care package for Red. Maybe she was feeling bad about what she said earlier? Kitty gave her mother a smile to show her appreciation. Of course, the smile was not returned by Bea. Burt gave an apologetic look towards his daughter for his wife's behavior. Unfortunately, it was something he had to do quite often.

With thoughts of Red on her mind, Kitty found herself losing her appetite. She was mindlessly moving her carrots around her plate with her fork when Bea broke the silence.

"Kitty, dear, your father and I would like to know your plans. We've given you plenty of time to decide."

Kitty let out a defeated sigh. "I think I'm going to enroll in nursing school."

"Nursing school, huh?" Bea paused for a moment to observe her daughter. "You don't seem very excited about it."

Kitty looked up from her plate and spoke honestly. "It's hard to get excited about something your pressured in to."

"Whether you were pressured into it or not, your father and I have high expectations for you. All of your focus needs to be on your studies."

"Are you sure this is what you want, pumpkin?"

Kitty shook her head from side to side. "No…"

Kitty felt three pairs of eyes on staring through her before she broke the silence.

"Mom said I have to make a choice. And since what I truly want is not an option right now, I guess I'm going to give nursing school a try."

"Well if it's any consolation, I think you would make a great nurse."

"Thanks, Daddy."

Paula nodded in agreement. "Yeah…I think so too, Kitty."

Kitty smiled at her sister before turning towards her parents. "May I be excused now?"

Burt replied. "Of course, dear."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

After cleaning and putting away her place setting and silverware, Kitty found herself upstairs in her room again. She grabbed her stationary, a pen, and a book to use as a hard surface. Red had poured his heart out to her in his last letter and she planned to do the same.

 _December 11, 1950_

 _Hi Honey,_

 _Your last letter was the sweetest. I was teary eyed and giggling all at the same time while I was reading. I'm so glad that I had Paula take that photo. I was almost too embarrassed. It means so much to me that you like it._

 _Oh, honey, trust me. I think about that day a lot too. I remember telling you over and over again that I didn't want my hair to get wet, but you dunked me in the water anyway. I wanted to be mad but I just couldn't. The way you were laughing and holding me…I couldn't help but laugh too. Before too long I found myself not even caring that my hair was sticking to my face and uncontrollable. You've always made me feel beautiful no matter how I look. I don't know why you were so nervous to tell me how you felt. I would have said it back in a heartbeat._

 _As you know my mother has been pressuring me a lot to make a decision about the rest of my life. My first choice, of course, is spending it with you. However, that wasn't the answer she was looking for. So to get my mother off my back I've decided to enroll in nursing school. I will start my classes in January. I truly don't know how I feel about it but I promise to work hard and make you proud._

 _I bought you a small Christmas gift today. I'm going to try to time the package just right and hopefully you will get it on Christmas day. I can't wait for you to open it._

 _I guess I'm going to close now. I miss you and love you so much, sweetheart._

 _Love,_

 _Kitty._

To be continued…

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

So what did you think? Please let me know in a review.

One thing I wanted to touch on is the Red that we get to see in his letters to Kitty. Some people may see it as OOC, however, I feel that if there was ever a time in Red's life that he was somewhat sappy and romantic it was in his letter's to Kitty. The Red we see in the show struggles with expressing his feelings but he is also not in a dangerous/stressful situation all the time, and he has his love ones with him everyday. You only see it come out when he is experiencing some sort of issue (Ex. His mother dying, he's drunk or under the influence of pain killers, Laurie moving out, Kitty's mad at him, Eric moving to Africa, etc.) Notice that throughout this story, he is the same Red Forman we see in the show. Tough exterior and hard to figure out with everyone except Kitty. Red truly is a 'behind closed doors' romantic and I hope I am able to reflect that in my writing.

Because he is so far away in this story, I believe he would try to tell Kitty how he felt about her as much as possible thinking that it was the only way he would be able to keep her. I don't know if you noticed, but there was a line in this chapter that insinuated that Red received a 'Dear John' letter during the last war. I believe this is something that could have possibly happened to him and he's trying to avoid that situation again at all costs.

Just some thoughts. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you stay tuned for the next!


	5. Ringing in the Year

_December 21, 1950_

 _Dear Red,_

 _It has been ten days since I mailed my last letter, and I have yet to receive a reply from you. I'm really worried, sweetie. I'm praying that everything is well with you and maybe you have just been extra busy lately._

 _Christmas is in full swing here in Wisconsin. We just bought our Christmas tree the other day. Paula and I have been busy baking and decorating Christmas cookies. I also made some chocolate candy and peppermint candy this year. It was my first time for both and it turned out pretty tasty if I do say so myself. My grandmother (my father's mother) is coming into town this year for the holiday. She is an amazing cook. I'm hoping she'll teach me how to make Swedish pancakes this year. She is reluctant to give anyone her recipe, but hopefully I can talk her into it._

 _You should have received a box with this letter as well. Your Christmas gifts are inside. I know it's not much, but I hope it will make your Christmas a little happier and maybe remind you of home._

 _I miss you and love you Red._

 _Merry Christmas,_

 _Kitty_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 _December 27_ _th_ _, 1950_

 _Dear Kitty,_

 _I am so sorry I have been worrying you, sweetheart. These past few weeks have been hectic to say the least. We just finished a major evacuation in Korea, and I am just now able to write again. Because of everything that has been going on, I was never able to get you a Christmas gift. I feel so bad, Kitty. I really wanted to get you something special this year. You know sometimes it feels like the deck is stacked against us. I don't know…maybe the deck is just stacked against me._

 _As if I didn't already feel bad enough, I did receive your package with the letter. You are so thoughtful, sweetheart. The gloves and socks are really going to help me out. It's getting colder every day. I don't know how you did it, but those Christmas cookies and candy tasted as fresh as if you made the batch today. It was so hard not to eat everything at once. It was hands down the best thing I have tasted in months. I even had to hide them so the other guys wouldn't sniff them out._

 _Any luck convincing your grandmother to teach you how to make Swedish Pancakes? I've never had them before. What's the difference between a Swedish pancake and just a regular pancake?_

 _Nursing school, huh? You will be a great nurse, Kitty. I know it is not what you want the most out of life right now. If I was home we would be married, and you wouldn't have to go to school at all. But…this is where our lives are at the moment, unfortunately. When do your classes start? How long is the schooling? Sorry for all of the questions. I'm just so interested in you that I want to know all about it._

 _I hope you had a great Christmas, sweetheart, and an even happier New Year. Are the Henderson's having a party again this year? Speaking of that party, I was just thinking about that kiss we shared at midnight behind their garage. It was freezing outside, but it was worth it just to have that private moment away from the crowd. Anyways, if you do go again this year I hope you think of me when the clock strikes midnight. I know I will be thinking of you. You are too pretty not to be kissed on New Year's Eve. I'm so sorry I'm not there. Please don't get caught up in the romance of the night and kiss someone else. I think that would just about kill me, Kitty._

 _I miss you and love you just as much._

 _Red_

Kitty exhaled and sat the letter down on her bed. The final paragraph of the letter was enough to break her heart. His tone in this letter was different, and at the moment she was at a complete loss for what to write back. Kitty felt a sense of panic wash over her and before she knew where she was going, she jumped off the bed and wandered down the hall of her parents' home. She heard a loud banging noise and realized it was her hand banging on her sisters bedroom door. Luckily, her parents were running errands in town, or her mother would have been furious.

Paula quickly jerked the door open and practically yelled. "What?"

Kitty's eyes were wide as she grabbed her sister's arm and began dragging her towards her bedroom. Paula's annoyance immediately turned to worry as she spoke. "Kitty? What's wrong? What's going on?"

Kitty shut her bedroom door and responded. "I need your help." She picked up the letter from the bed and handed it over to her sister. "Read this. Tell me what you think."

Paula had a look of surprise on her face. In the past five months she had never been allowed to read any of Red's letters to Kitty. Kitty had been adamant that her correspondence with her boyfriend was a private matter. However, this was clearly something that Kitty wasn't prepared to handle and she needed her younger sister's advice.

Paula finished reading and couldn't figure out why Kitty was so upset. She gave her sister a smile. "Well, you can definitely feel his love for you through his writing. You are so lucky to have…"

Kitty interrupted before she could finish. "You didn't think he sounded…off?"

"Well, I've never read any of his other letters' so it is hard for me to say. I mean, he did seem a little sad in a few paragraphs, but that's to be expected, right?"

"I don't know, Paula. He seemed really upset about not being able to send me a Christmas gift which I don't care about at all. I just want him to be safe. Then the last paragraph where he is talking about New Year's Eve and me kissing another man…I mean I don't even know where he came up with that…"

Paula interrupted. "Kitty…Kitty…calm down. It sounds like he might be just a little insecure because he's not home with you. Think about it…he's at war. He's really not in a position to meet other women so you have nothing to worry about in that aspect. You on the other hand are a beautiful woman that is at home waiting on her soldier. You are lonely, sad, vulnerable, and he feels like he has everything to worry about." Paula paused for a moment to grab Kitty's hand as they sat down on the bed. "You're terrified that he won't make it home, and he's terrified of coming home to find you in love with someone else."

"Paula, that's insane. He knows that I'm crazy in love with him."

"He does know deep down, but right now, for whatever reason, he is questioning if he is worthy of that love."

Kitty looked as though she could burst into tears at any moment. "How could he possibly think that? He's everything to me."

Paula continued. "I don't know sweetie, but I can almost guarantee that's what is going on. It's your job to keep reassuring him. It's your job to keep him mentally strong so he can get home safe."

Kitty nodded her head and wiped away the few tears that slipped down her face. "Okay, I can do that." She gave her little sister a smile. "Thank you for your help, Paula." Kitty leaned in for a hug that Paula accepted. "You always know how to calm me down."

"What are sisters for, right?"

Kitty choked out a cross between a laugh and a sob. They pulled apart and Kitty spoke. "I guess I better write him back. I want to get my next letter in the mail today so it can get to him as soon as possible. Maybe it will settle him down a bit."

"Okay, I'll leave you to it." Paula stood up and closed the door as she exited the room.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

 _December 31_ _,_ _1950,_

 _Hi Honey,_

 _It's crazy to think that this is the last day of 1950. This has been such an important year in my life, and it's mostly because of you. I was so happy to receive your letter today. I have been worried sick these last few weeks._

 _First of all, I want to let you know that I couldn't even consider going to the Henderson's party without you. It just wouldn't feel right. Red, you also need to know that you never have to worry about me kissing another man. I promised that I would wait for you, and I intend to keep that promise. I love you so much. Don't ever forget that, honey._

 _I am so happy to hear that you loved your Christmas gift. Hopefully the socks and gloves will help keep you warm this winter, and the baked goods were a nice treat for you. Do NOT feel bad about not being able to send me anything. All I want is for you to be safe. You are fighting for our country for goodness sakes…you're a little busy right now._

 _Yes! My grandmother finally taught me how to make Swedish pancakes. I'm so excited to make them for you when you get home. We were able to spend a lot of time in the kitchen together so she taught me a few other recipes too. They are a lot thinner than the pancakes you are used to. I usually don't use maple syrup either. I typically put lingonberry jam or some other type of fruit on them and sometimes I sprinkle a little bit of confectioners' sugar on them. There are a lot of different toppings you can use. You just have to decide what you like best._

 _My classes start January 8_ _th_ _, and it will take me two years to finish the program. I'm a little nervous. I hope I can keep up with the school work. Oh my goodness...even worse…what if I kill somebody? Jeez…as if I wasn't nervous enough. Maybe I should have decided on teaching._

 _I guess I'm going to close for now. I miss you and love you, sweetheart._

 _Yours Forever,_

 _Kitty_

Red laid the letter on his chest and stared up at the bunk above him. He had been feeling anxious and out of sorts for the last few weeks which was most likely caused from lack of communication with his girl. He was usually quite focused on whatever task was at hand, mostly because his life and the lives of his fellow soldiers depended on it. However, lately he was anything but focused.

Her letter was enough to settle his nerves and help him relax. Despite the fact that he wasn't able to send her a Christmas gift, everything was still okay between them. She made it clear that she was in love with him, and that was all he need to hear for now.

To be continued…


End file.
